A New Reality

I am amazed every time I look at my little girl. What amazes me is that she's my little girl. I look at her sweet little face and gently put my hand on her (mostly to make sure she's still breathing). She is just amazing. I can't help but think about all of the sacrifices that were made for her to be in our family. It is difficult not to acknowledge the hand of God in all of this. I see the promise of the Lord made in Malachi for those who pay their tithes: that the windows of heaven will be open and there shall not be room enough to receive them (blessings). I see it as I look around our tiny apartment. I can't find my dining table and I love it!

After two weeks in the hospital our little one came home. She came home last night after a couple of pleasant hours at the hospital with the nurses and our attorney finishing up some legal stuff. I tried to just take it all in stride and be patient. I bathed her and fed her and then Kevin got there and my mother and sister-in-law. We took pictures and talked; it was nice.

The first night was definitely hard. I have to say, though, that I have never been more pleased to be up at 2:30 in the morning. To be able to comfort your child is an indescribable joy. I think the joy comes in believing that I don't upset her. The 6am feeding was a little more difficult, but even that we got through without too much fuss.

I was concerned, at first, that I wouldn't be able to bond with Megan as quickly because I wasn't her birth mother. I didn't carry her; I didn't birth her. I don't have that connection with her the way her birth mother does. As I visited the hospital frequently, I realized that my worries were unfounded. She recognizes my voice; she knows my touch and my smell, and these things comfort her because they are familiar in an unfamiliar place. Adopted moms are still moms. They just get their babies a little differently than biological moms. The instinct, however, is still the same. The desire is the same. The bond will be a little different, but no less strong.

I am beginning to understand a lot of things about being a mom. The most important thing I learned today is that parenting is easier with a spouse. We figured out that the best way to take care of our child is through the sharing of ideas and dads have just as many good ones as moms. Parenting is a collaborative effort.

The Trial

I've never blogged before because I've never really had a reason to. I mean, why blog when you can journal, right? Journaling is so much more personal. Who wants to hang their dirty laundry all over cyberspace? Or, who really wants to see it?

I guess I wanted to started this because I've had such an amazing, life-altering experience and I want to share my thoughts with the world. I first have to compile my own thoughts into legible material in my brain. Right now they are just highlighted blurbs of information that I want to share. If I tried to translate it directly from my brain it wouldn't make sense to anyone.

I really felt the need to share the experience I had in adopting our daughter, Megan. It's been quite the emotional journey already, and we haven't really started yet.